I am writing this blog today in current tense. I have been awake since about 3ish am this morning after going to sleep after midnight last night.

The main reason for this? Leukemia.

Nahla decided to help herself to a seasoning packet over the weekend. A seasoning packet which had gluten in it. If you have read any of my past blogs, this is a key ingredient for the recipe of ‘Sarah doesn’t sleep for a few days.’

So the last few days Nahlas gut health has gotten increasingly worse. Nausea, lethargic behaviour, appetite loss, diarrhea aaaaand we got there this morning. A bleeding bowel.

I don’t usually like swearing on the internet because it does offend people. But fuuuuuuuuuuuu*k. There you go, I added one star.

Obviously well equipped with what I have learnt over the past few weeks, I am in a space of where I not only had the medications on hand, but I also knew what I didn’t, what I needed to look into and where to go.

She has also decided since Friday that she no longer eats chicken, pumpkin, carrot or chicken bone broth. Which is her ENTIRE damn diet. But we’ll save that internal rage fest for another day.

So. Beef bone broth it is, which I have never made before. Luckily we do have a great Organic Butcher nearby and next to them an organic market with access to a Natropath for advice. Which yes, she concurred beef broth it is. Little did I know before today (always learning guys, always) beef broth is specifically used for gut issues and gastrointestinal damage. Okay. Thanks. Where was that information a month ago.

So here we are. By the time I got my hands on the bones and her updated Homeopathic remedy, got the bones cooked and the bone broth that takes 12-18 hours to make on, it was 10am. So I have another hour and a half of awake time as I can’t leave it on overnight, it’ll burn and I am killing time, trauma dumping my cynicism to the internet.

Today has been exceptionally productive though. I woke up in a bit of a daze wondering why Nahla was carrying on in the bathroom, got her outside and made myself a coffee to sit down with a very well times book ‘The Power Within’ written by an amazing man who I have had the honour of spending time with, by the name of Michael Duff. I read my chapter, side note – I have read almost three books this year and I am damn impressed with myself.

So up I get to go and face the world thinking maybe I would have a midday nap to catch up. No Sarah, you will not be. Without giving you too much information into bowel bleeds, they’re very dramatic.. Even when they are minor.. Needless to say I have mopped a hundred and one times today and probably will again before bed.

I had a small panic when I walked out of the bedroom, however, Nahla had no fever, no major lethargy, no real desire to stay still for more than 5 seconds, hence the mopping.. and at 8.35pm, however many hours after I woke up that is, Nahlas bleed has stopped, her appetite has returned, she has had enough water to completely rehydrate and is now staring at me like butter would not melt in her damn mouth, nagging me for more food.

The fat from roasting the bones was the kick start of this. I mixed it with a bit of water in a desperate attempt to get her drinking again and alongside her Homeopathic remedy, you wouldn’t even know what went on in our house this morning. Or how many times I have mopped the floors AND the dog.

Tonight will be another sleepless night. I will be up a few times to let her out, her meals and water consumption has been very broken today so we cannot expect regular bowel movements, nor can we predict the kidney function. But luckily for me I will have a very incredible man waking up in a few hours on the other side of the world to keep me company in the part of the evening it is hardest to stay awake for.

Tomorrow, we will just try again.

I will continue the OG cancer saga in due time when I am not so full of cynicism and sass and the nonsensical trauma humour that gets me through my chaos.. Although I do expect a very large portion of you may have come here in search for just that.

Enjoy your night, morning, day, evening, whatever it is in whatever part of the world you are.

Thank you, and goodnight.