Okay, some hard hitting realities here for people going through growth and change.

As we grow, we shift into different vibrational patterns.

Some people won’t follow suit. The quote ‘When you set boundaries you don’t loose friends and family, your boundaries will make you lose gaslighters, emotional abusers, needy and greedy manipulators, narcissistic behaviour and energy vampires’ and let me tell you, when I started setting boundaries for myself, I lost A LOT of people out of my life.

But that made way for so many newly aligned people to enter the chat that I have no regrets.

I was about twenty-five when I decided to put up my boundaries, I was twenty-eight when I really stepped back and said ‘no if you don’t respect this you’re not welcome’. I am now in my thirties and holding my boundaries has been so easy, it’s just like second nature. As autopilot as driving a car.

The fear of being alone is what stops us from tell people to politely f*ck off. I have touched on it a few times now, but humans are not meant to be alone. We need community and connection, without it we fail to thrive.

But that does not mean you have to accept who is in your reality right now.

It also doesn’t mean you need to blow up or cause a scene. Boundaries are about being yourself and continuing down your path, irrespective of what others have to say or what they may think about it. And if you keep going, eventually people will realise, understand and respect your boundaries and they will either accept them, or they will remove themselves from your space. It’s when you cave to their needs and requests that they don’t.

Do it once, they will rebel, do it twice, they will realise, do it three times, they will change.

What we want around us is our cheerleaders. Our hype girls who are excited and happy for all of our triumphs, who want to see us succeed, even when they are struggling to themselves. No one deserves to be torn down when they’re pushing out of their comfort zones and if you’re accepting people who do try to tear you down, you’re creating your own reality of lack.

I run by the concept of smile and wave.

I have never asked anyone to chose sides when another has been removed from my life. You cannot expect one to chose not to communicate with their family. If we use my own story as an example, I have never expected anyone to see the version of people I see.

All our experiences are different. Who that person was to you may not be who they are to the person standing next to you. Just because they treated you with questionable intentions, it does not mean they treated their other family members with the same intentions. Holding grudges to people who choose to communicate with a someone who treated you with narcissistic tendencies is only going to drain your energy in the long run, they may not have experiences that same version of that person than you did.

That is the hardest thing to forgive, the why me.

But at the end of the day, the why you is because it’s your lesson to learn. Not anyone else’s. Nothing is that personal and in the grand scheme of life it is just a momentary experience that was required for you to grow into the person who are supposed to be.

We do not need to constantly spread love and light to those who have hurt us. But also should not be spreading hate and darkness just because they did.

Sarah x