Okay – this one has been stewing for a while now, so strap in.

As a spiritual medium, the questions are always about love, finance and health.

Even if you think your question isn’t – yes it is.

I have spoken a lot about manifesting money and increasing your cashflow. So let’s start to dive into romance and relationships shall we?

You get what you give. Period.

As human beings, we seem to have this expectation of others to ‘give’ us something first. “I’ll be a better wife when he’s a better husband.” Guys, this isn’t going to work. The universe is going to give you what you energetically give and if you’re giving expectation of him being better first, you’re going to get expectation of you being better first.

”I’ll be a loyal partner when I have a loyal man show up.” Sis, the loyal man is not going to come your way if you’re not a loyal woman first. It’s energetically impossible, you are not going to be attracting loyal behaviour while you’re practising disloyalty.

”I’ll be a gentle parent when my child stops pissing me off.” The child is going to react to your hard style of punishment before you get angry if this is your mentality around parenting.

If you want change in your life, you must BE the change first.

I have a wonderful fiancé, but I was single for a long time in between relationships. Don’t get me wrong – I dated – but when it came to being in a committed relationship I was extremely fussy as I had very high standards of the men I was considering. And let me tell you, I culled them. Quickly.

I want to touch on this because I set a standard for myself and for my future husband. I knew to get what I wanted, I actually had to BE what I wanted first and I also knew that not everybody deserved my love and attention, and I had to be okay with loosing a few frogs along the way. As we level up our vibration, we’re eventually going to repel low vibrational people.

Those who don’t fit into your energy will eventually become uncomfortable with being around you and to be honest, they will become undesirable to you.

So to put this into practical form. Before I met my fiancé I went on a mass cull, I deleted every man I had ever dated from all of my social media, I didn’t really go out drinking much – don’t get me wrong I absolutely went out and enjoyed my life with my friends, but I wasn’t out partying all weekend or flirting with anyone I stumbled across for the entertainment of it.

I bought and staged my house how I wanted it, I bought my dream car, I worked hard, saved hard and started to create my own little nest egg. Ladies, it’s 2024. You don’t need a man to provide a nest egg for you anymore, create it yourself and set a bar so damn high, the low energy men cannot vault over it. This leaves no choice for you except to accept better for yourself. If you can provide it for yourself, he must match it, or better.

But we also need to begin to look at ourselves in the relationships we already have. Whether intimate, platonic, family based or even a best friend. People will treat you how you treat them. Life is nothing but a mirror onto your own choices and behaviour.

If you don’t like something someone is doing, before you can begin to expect them to care, you need to have a good hard look in the mirror and reflect on what it is you’re doing to attract that kind of behaviour.

A while before I met my now hubby to be, I’m talking a good two years or so. I started to notice a pattern in the behaviour with the men in my life. There was this consistent trail of non response, prioritising other things, not keeping their word or telling me what they thought I wanted to hear not necessarily the truth. I eventually came to the point where I saw a reflection of my own behaviour in past connections. Again this was not just romantically intimate relationships with men, this was across the board in my entire life, in all relationships.

First and foremost – non response and prioritising other things… Nahla has been my number one priority for years by this stage. If she was unwell, I dropped everyone. If she had a vet visit, numero uno. I never stayed past 6pm on dates because her meds were due. I wouldn’t go anywhere for a weekend or even get a pet sitter. It was just I had to be home by 6pm and that was final. No exceptions.

So let’s flip that – Imagine dating someone, and instead of spending quality time with you, they bounced at 5.45pm, every single date and had zero intentions of changing it. How little of a priority would you feel, would you not then make them a secondary priority and do other things for yourself – of course you would. Then starts the vicious cycle that results in the break up. While my priority was a fair one, it wasn’t fair on him.

Not keeping their word – Again, this was me but in a slightly different aspect. When it came to my job, or my dog, I broke my word. If I said I would be somewhere and an opportunity came up to make money or Nahla ended up with a response to chemo, I would bail even at the last minute.

So again, flip it – That’s annoying as fuck. Who does this chick think she is that she can make plans and then bail on me the last minute after I’ve gotten ready and organised a date. Shitty energy fam, even if it was for work or the dog.. disappointing.

So I don’t need to continue on here for you to see where I am going with this. I ended up decided I wanted a man who was honest, provided a life that matched the one I had built for myself and was willing to compromise and sacrifice for the betterment of our relationship. But the catch was, I had to go first.

Fast forward to my relationship now. I have the life of my dreams, honestly. My fiancé does everything for me and he gives me everything I have ever wanted, but I also do the same in return. I have accepted that I am willing to give up the career for our family, the car for his dream.. My fiancé works away SEVENTY PERCENT of the year to chase his dream career, if you think I am not sacrificing things that are exceptionally important to me for him, you’re delusional.

So to put it into finalised terms – if you want people to treat you better, treat them better first. If they do’t come to the table “Choose distance over disrespect”.

Now in spirit of universal intentions and manifestations, I have included a few little energetically ways you can raise your vibrational energy and attract better love into your life.

And with all of that being said and a little bit of calling you on your shit – that is me done for the day.

Lots of loving vibes, especially if you’ve subscribed for spice.

Sarah x